Posts

I'm in lock up..

My mother was always into those show off kind of guys. Not fancy, broke, but full of themselves. Guys who were "country" but couldn't tell a steer from a heifer. Ones that bought a truck, but couldnt change the oil.  Mom married Larry, my step dad in 1992. Dad had left me at the courthouse (one of two times he would do this before I turned 18). Larry was one of three step dad's I would wind up with. 4 if you count the jackass she was with when she died. Jimmy.  Larry was a "ruh-roh" kind of guy. A boot scoot and boogie man. Mean as hell with me. Hated the mention of my dad and beat the hell out of me for waking him up from his after work nap.  There's a later story I will tell, that he leads wholly. But for now, Id like to reflect on his influence in me as my first role model in "talking to girls".  He did this sort of a shaky walk, bow legged slow, one long stride in front of the other when he was walking toward my mom in a good mood.  So it w...

Who are you?

Just being admitted to the first group home of three, I sat through my indoctrination. Rules, regulations, policies, procedures. For an 11 year old kid this was a hell of an introduction to a lifestyle of "structure". Structure that would lead most kids to either live a better life as a member of their own home, or totally flunk out of the family dynamic. They either become some independent soldier in life, dependant upon their vices in life, grasping for pills, therapy or co-dependant relationships. Or just become huge fuck up.  For those of you who have done this, you know the setting. Wooden furniture, secure lockdown rooms, kids screaming because theyve been without an ass whooping their whole life. Staff members being kind, but still reiterating "the rules" like you're supposed to know them all immediately. Kids in a group setting already complaining because you're still in that free lifestyle from your parents household.  "Hes lining up without pe...